it has come

my friend, chi wei was so excited to balik kampung today that he treated Pearly and I to tea that consisted of wantans :) another friend, ai vee was also excited to go home and take rest from uni life. Her face practically lit up when I asked her about her hometown. :') aww.

You see how precious this midsem break is to my mates? Very.

I'm also very excited that the hols are here. 3R's:

Rest.

Relaxation.

Refreshment.

I thank God for the mid-sem break. I think we needed it.

Euphoria

Choir competition UM was today, and the atmosphere? Euphoric.

As I sat in the van on the way to the hall, I reflected on the times I had choir during secondary, and it was the same euphoric feeling that ran through my veins. "I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes." Uni choir ain't the same as secondary choir because 1) we're all grown ups and 2) we're more pro. ;)

And even when the competition's over, when we had post-mortem and a lot of thankyous and apologies, even when I'm up at 2am because I just washed the hairspray off my hair, I look back at the support and friends who came today. 'twas.. amazing.

I look back too at the times when I wasn't consistent during practices, always missing because of church choir and other stuff...I'd say it was a long, tiring but memorable journey. Eventhough the thought of quitting sometimes appear in my mind because i had quite some things to juggle, i'm glad i didn't because I would not have felt what I'm feeling right now.

Another thing was because I've already promised myself that I'll be committed to choir and for me to back out like that is just...wrong. What sort of impression am I setting as Christian? So nope, and I thank God (!) really, for encouraging me to stay put and help the altos :)

At the end of the day, I learnt a lot along the way and that, is priceless.

million dollar question is: will I join choir next year? er maybe... 50-50. depends on how busy I am.

our last pose! spot me :)

courtesy from fb. :) choir team! we grabbed 4th place though, which to me, based on our standard, progress and how some of the members sing out of tune sometimes (hehe confession!), is pretty good already. PTL.

to kill a coloured one.

To Maycomb, Tom's death was typical. Typical of a nigger to cut and run. Typical of a nigger's mentality to have no plan, no thought for the future, just run blind first chance he saw. Funny thing, Atticus Finch might have got him off scot free, but wait--? Hell, no. You know how they are. Easy come, easy go. Just shows you, that Robinson boy was legally married, they say he kept himself clean, went to church and all that, but when it comes down to the line the veneer's mighty thin. Nigger always comes out in 'em. ...Tom was a dead man the minute Mayella Ewell opened her mouth and screamed.

I don't know about you, but I was so worked up to tears of anger and resentment by 'To Kill a Mockingbird' towards the kind of injustice that befell Tom, the innocent black who was framed to have raped Mayella, a white. Yea I know it's fiction and it's not real, but it was a mirror to what happened a long time ago.

Long story short, Tom pitied Mayella and went to help her chop a 'chiffarobe' but instead she seduced him (which he vehemently rejected) and was caught by her father, who inflicted punches on her, but she ended up accusing Tom. Wow. That was a pretty hard impact on me. I can't believe ... *speechless* i mean, tom, although not educated, has the most gentle heart but was framed by that....that.....girl....urgh..

poor tom. :'( Of course, the jury found him guilty because they judged based on skin rather than the truth. I can't imagine how tom would feel. So, so many emotions running through his mind. The coloured people, oppressed by the whites.

That really, really worked me up. :'((((( After reading that part I had to put the book down and wipe my tears. Yep. I cried reading this book. This book..has a huge impact on me. I would really encourage you to read it.

Thank God things are SO different now in US.

"But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth..."

-Fix You-

I was listening to this just now and after all this time of listening to Coldplay, this portion of the lyrics finally struck me. Why? I don't know. But it was...surprisingly encouraging.

I always knew coldplay ain't like no other ordinary band.

and they proved themselves to be worthy of world recognition and adoration around the world.

Fix You.

If you could be something for a day, just anything, what would you be?

Ok la this was inspired by a friend who tweeted that she wanted to be a leatherback turtle. So sweet and cute right?? I never thought of becoming a turtle.

but i would like to be ..........a rabbit.

simply because I want to be loved by my 'master' haha. and being a rabbit, you don't have to think too much. Just eat, poop, enjoy the cuddling...ta-da. Life in a nutshell - simple and sweet. tak payah pikir banyak perkara.

I would also like to be a horse!

A black one with a star on my forehead, like Black Beauty. After watching War Horse I got to see a different side of horses. But i especially liked the part where horses have the liberty and ability to gallop as fast as they could, beating the wind's speed. Try picturing a horse running across the meadows and going against the wind, the grass slapping gently on its legs.

What goes through the horse's mind when it runs? Probably somewhere along the lines of "I had a bad day today. I needa run." "why?! why did my master whip me?" "i wish humans can hear me".

An up-close shot of a horse in a full-swing thinking/pondering mode. I like this picture. Abstract. What is this horse thinking?? I want to know. I think horses are pretty emo animals. They tell us what they feel through their eyes. My heart melts for this one...look at his eyes!! Doesn't it tell you something?

Or maybe I'm a bit cuckoo.....but seriously. Horses are nice creatures. If I can be anything, I would be a horse. and a wabbit.

two sides.

All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players.. - Shakespeare.

The world's the stage, we're the actors.

Costumes, check. Make-up, check. Fake smiles, check. Fake emotions, check.

And what do the audience get?

A very good show, indeed. Fooled by the actors' brilliant and pretentious façades.

And I must say, well done. Aren't we all good at acting?

;-)

and so.

Rating for how this week has been : 4.5/10

Yeah. Wasn't a good week, although there were some good stuff that happened, but there were also tiredness, misunderstandings, not so good time management, awkward moments and mistakes.

Next week will be busier as choir practices will be on every night, and I have three presentations plus other assignments. Everything's under control... i think. Or so I want to think that way. It's as if my cup is filled to the brim, but haven't tumpah fully - yet. Got spill a bit, but not all. You got my implied meaning? yeah i thought so.

The choir competition's next sunday, and I can't believe I'm missing my friends' baptisms for it!! Not a fair trade at all :( For this, i wish i can split myself into two. I do wana go for choir, because I've made a commitment, but I also want to support my church friends who're baptizing. sorry rach, matt, reb. esp. rach! my cute and young (too young) and crazy friend.

anyway. a lot happened this week and it got me thinking, who're my true friends? How do I have good time management? where's God in the picture? Why has He put me in uncomfortable positions?

food for thought.

open your eyes to the things unseen.

So what's this Kony thing anyway? It's about a guy who recruits children to his little (understatement) twisted army that tortures anything in their paths. I completely agree that's inhumane, terrible, horrific...any possible word to describe the horror.

It's all over fb, this kony thing. The irony is, most peeps are more aware of this rather than Lynas. And lynas is right smack in our country whereas kony's a thousand miles away. Why look out so far when you're oblivious to what's in front of you?

A quote from a friend on twitter: "I guess to many people, child slavery/rape/assault drives a bigger impact than pollution and cancer." To me both are equally as important. It depends on one's view on it. Maybe kony's more viral or widespread whereas lynas.. er so so la. But lynas' in the news! on national telly! whereas kony's not. Bang, another irony.

maybe people are more shaken up by child abuse/slavery than cancer and pollution and the future generation at stake?!? Doesn't that shake you up too?? ==

So...start from our country. Or support both. But main point is, open your eyes, to the things in front of you, right under your nose. :-)

:-)

So here's a list of random things :

1) MCDS. It's been too long, and I need to eat you :-)

2) have some Me-time. I need to have time for myself instead of getting caught in Uni's Whirlwind.

3) You've Got Mail, Coraline, The Notebook, james & the giant peach, a walk to remember, remembering the titans, Tangled, forrest gump, lion king, the lake house, the island, LOTR, The Holiday, soul surfer, the sound of music...my fave movies.

4) easter's coming.

5) my 1week break's coming too. *ecstatic*

6) i miss mum's cooking.

7) I don't like awkward moments! argh. thinking about it is like...urgh..

8) class on mondays and weds are at 11am :) sleep late, wake up a bit late.

9) i wish for a piano in my collge room right now.

10) i got home on saturday, picked up my guitar and tried to remember the easy chords sarah taught me during leader's retreat, and voila! I found them, and they sounded lovely. I felt like a pro guitar player, but obviously not lah. Im nowhere near that. Still, I'm happy I found the chords.

bye.

Have you ever wondered whether you have made the right decision?

I do...all the time.

how convenient.

Sometimes in this course, I get a wee bit discouraged by the assignments because it reminds me of how I didn't want to be in tesl in the first place. At times I still feel out of place, like asking myself 'what? why am i learning that?" "how am I going to do that?"

How am i going to ace this course if my heart's not 100% in it? why am i still feeling a tinge of reluctance towards this course even after 1 semester? :( i guess tesl hasn't really grow on me yet.

just the other day i met with a friend from the English dept (my dream course tht i wanted to enter) and she told me how this lecturer told them about my wanting to switch to English dept and how I would definitely do very well there. And I know I will totally love it when I'm there. But then. I've already got 3/4 of my foot in tesl. Too late to pull out. It was quite a blow to hear that...imagine if I'm in that dept, I would be loving what I'm learning, and I would put 150% into my assignments to score. I would probably even do well in a course that i <3.

But why am I saying all this? It's gona make me feel worse if I compare my current situation to where I should have been.

There's no turning back now. Deal with it. But I'm going to deal with it with love. With a different mindset. with God's help. :'(

This sucks.

"every morning...

...,there's a halo hangin on the corner of my girlfriend's four post bed. "

Remember that song? Sugar Ray? ancient huh.

It's the month of march already. 12 days of being 21. It felt normal. :) I am proud to be 21, although among my PJ peers I'm the oldest. But wisest of course *curtsies* nahh kiddin

at times i don't feel matured for my age, but sometimes i felt like, whoa, since when do i think so adult-ish...it depends on the situation. The times when I don my 21-adulthood suit are when I'm making decisions, giving advices to younger peers, weighing pros and cons, deciding whether something's right or wrong..yea..something like that.

The times when I hang up my suit are when i'm with friends, chilling, talking, being silly...or..i duno whenever i feel like it haha. It doesn't mean I'm irresponsible. It just meant that there's a time for me to have fun and laugh and joke and there's a time for me to use the knowledge and wisdom God gave me. Sounds complicated? haha

trust me, being 21 is fun. :) At least I have church friends who're much older than me. Hee don't mean to point out you're old, guys, but...it's true =P

tata~

thank you

To _______,

Meeting you has been a blessing in my life. I've learnt so much from you; the big and small things that you do, the way you treat people and especially your love + faith in God. You told me briefly on how you came a long way to where you are today, and I felt the same in my life too; I've come a looong way to where and what I've become today. Thanks for refreshing my memory haha.

You probably won't know how many people you've inspired. But I just want to say, you are an inspiration to me in my walk in uni.

continue to shine in UM, to impact other people like how you did to me. Don't worry you're doing a fine job in where you're serving right now. You are awesome in your own way!

love.