Had one of the busiest weeks this week; lack of sleep, non-stop action, MC-ing, corresponding with VIPs etc. Made me feel exhausted, spent, tired and discouraged I could not focus on my research.

After a tiring two-day run, I dreaded going for the meet with my supervisors because i wana go for the meeting feeling excited, fresh and rejuvenated, not tired and discouraged. But the things he had to say greatly encouraged me, reminding me to persevere on and to work hard.

I hope i keep going and staying afloat!

John Watson: You didn't kill Mary. Mary died saving your life. Her choice. No one made her do it... you did not kill her.

Sherlock Holmes: In saving my life she conferred a value on it - it's a currency I do not know how to spend.

bazinga!

i realized many things.

i realized... i ought to be more initiative in my actions, in work. 

i realized i ought to ask more and stop assuming things. 

i realized every man is an island - whether they wana admit or not.

i realized that relying on my ownself won't work - i'll go back to square one, aka struggling.

all these realizations took place on my 5th year of being 21.

well. bazinga!

ramblings

Reconnecting myself to my roots of music!! 

there was a period in time where I ignored classical music. Gosh what a snob i was, and when i revisited it again, I was humbled and inspired. Damn if you can play classical music you can play any type of music genre. I recommend starting with piano first, because the basics of piano is extremely worth it as it creates a solid foundation for rhythm, timing, style, chords etc etc. Once you can play piano, playing guitar, the bass and drums will be a breeze. no regrets learning how 2 play the piano. used to hate theory but love practical lol. It's one of the best things that I cherish for life, because having the opportunity to channel your thoughts and emotions into playing is magical. 

random

I stumbled upon a short snippet of vampire diaries, labelled "the salvatore brothers are back". and i felt guilty because I am (or was?) a VD fan until their previous season, where things just got weird and ridiculous. And i told myself I'd watch ep 1 of the new season and i did, but i couldnt stomach it. Agh nooo what's become of my VD blood in my veins??? noooo

sherlock, on the other hand, was not too bad, but at one point I felt the story progressed way too fast, but then the producers covered the tracks nicely and it ended quite okay. My rationalization kicked in too cuz each season only has 3 eps, and how can one condense everything to 3 eps?!? impossibru. So, because of that, I think the producers did a good job. Or maybe cuz I'm biased because I heart sherlock!

this post is a work-free post. lol. dedicated to the only shows I watch now: sherlock, runningman and grey's anatomy. AND fresh off the boat (my fav asian family)

adios amigos

growth

Personally, I feel that growth was not something that happened at a one-time, bam, surprise! kinda thing. It's a steady and gradual process. I grow because I've learned to deal and manage my response + emotions + actions with troubles and tribulations. 

I never knew what dread meant until it was the day before school reopens. I felt as if there was a dark cloud above my head. I dread going back to the place I hate but love, funnily. 

Alas, I sat myself down and spoke to me, internally in my head; I can choose to be dreadful about it, or I can choose to be positive about it. I have a choice on how I should feel about this damning situation which, is no damnation at all. It's just part of life. 

And so I chose the latter, with a dose of prayer. It went uphill after that, but when the hour draws near to the 'dreadful' moment, my spirits crashed again. Tears eventually sprang forth, and I let it flow. Whatever, let them tears channel my dread.

And then I went to sleep, and woke up, with less dread. This is just the beginning of my journey but at the end of the road I have a HOPE i can cling to, a faithful God who will see me through every moment.

I will hope on that.