Saturday, October 14, 2017

Shit and others (teehee)

Hello hello... long time no see! i dont know if anyone still reads my blog haha. Much has been going on lately.... i don't even know where to begin. so what have i been up to lately? 

1) speaking in BM is my weekday language; it's hard to express my thoughts in a language i'm not good in, but i suppose my BM is improving. Means I need to keep my BI alive as well. When i get to speak BI in school, it's a RELIEF :D like the floodgates burst wide open 

2) it's almost the end of school term but I find that I have more work to do! I think because of procrastination and all the nonsensical paperwork and data key in we need to do. Seriously, i hate the system and I know we can do away with A LOT of useless keying in stuff and paperwork and protocol which would make the workforce A LOT MORE EFFECTIVE. there i said it. Berani kerana benar

3) Healthy eating and exercise. Yup. me of all people! I can't believe it too. I used to swear by mcds and fries and icecream for as long as I can remember, but lately those are out the door, and in with the salad loading, no supper daily (but occasionally fail), jogging, planking etc... what the! And to be honest, it's one of the best moments in my life! I feel energized, fresh, mentally clean after a good jog/run/plank. And my mobility and stamina has improved. Need to work on strength training and lose some fats of course haha. But all in all, one of the best decisions i have made in my life.

5) i am so busy - so many things to do: PAJSK shit, marking, ad-hoc AJK for events in school, collecting $, dealing with people who don't deserve my kindness but do it anyway because I'm there for a reason and I am reminded to have grace in speech and actions, christmas choir preparations (huge one this year), wedding pianist duties, mini concert duty in Nov, thesis and shitload of journal reading and data analysis. No censoring of the word shit anymore because i dun care liao. What the..............

 but my brother gave me a solid advice: You are still young, take whatever comes your way and LEARN from it. Now is the age to have losta work, to have stress, to learn how to deal with different people with different characteristics, to learn how to freakin MANAGE everything. If not now, then when?

I will and can do it. I know I can. I just need to rely on God and to be hardworking. 

Cheers to the ending of the year. (Reminds me of a Harry Potter phrase: I open at the close. Haha. Always a HP fan)

Monday, June 26, 2017

I finally watched Wonder Woman yesterday. I quite like it! She's so pretty. lol. I hate that Captain Trevor had to die!!!!!!!!!! why why why. T.T and I didnt like how Aeres appeared at the end too. Meh. I loved the beginning scenes of the Amazon warriors. So good. It could be a movie on its own. 

I suppose it was refreshing to watch a movie in the cinema to take a break from the routines of life. =) Next up is Spiderman, Avengers: Infinity War, Aquaman and Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them #2 (omggg)!!!

Btw, why is there still Madagascar no.4? Refuse to call it quits? 

Sunday, June 18, 2017

"Who do you say I am?" 

who is God, to me?

How does your understanding of who He is affect every facet of your life? 


Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Softness is not weakness. It takes courage to be delicate in a world this cruel."

Or rather, it takes courage to control oneself from retaliating. Difficult isn't it

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Three weeks ago, I was involved in an acapella rendition of a medley of three hymns that reflected God's faithfulness of my church's 50th anniversary. I enjoyed arranging it as there are so many possibilities of how it could sound like, and there is no limit. Lovely. It was an interesting journey to reflect on God's faithfulness over da years; 

the five of us attempted it 

my pals! what am i to do without them

we were all so nervous before we went on stage

one of the priceless joys in life - music and being able to jam with talented youth


nerve-wrecking doesn't quite describe it



this is my favourite shot

Pictures courtesy from Aunty Mei Ling and uncle CF. 

I am SO THANKFUL there is a two-week break from school. HALLELUJAH. 

Thursday, April 27, 2017

I'm so saddened and angry at the recent abuse case in a religious school, resulting the poor victim to pass on. 

like, what the heck???? i can't even fathom the entirety of this case. why didnt his parents respond to his pleas? did they not take him seriously, just because it's a religious school, and general perception reagrds religious teachers as pious, even in their actions towards children?

i'm so sad and angry, i can't do anything. this is terrible. I really, really hope the convicted "religious" teacher gets his rightful sentence.

what a rude awakening to the realities of schools in malaysia. 

Sunday, April 16, 2017

recently my hermit mode was shaken because some friends called for a meet-up, and i haven't seen them in years. But when i did meet them, i actually had a good time catching up and reminiscing all the fun times we had - 8 years ago! man, that seemed so long ago.

towards the end of the meetup, we delved into a deep discussion about God, our beliefs, and pent up angst. it struck a chord to hear her say she is bitterly angry at God because of something personal that happened. I .. .didnt know how to react, but to just sit there, listen, and be there for her. We all hear stuff on the pulpit about people cursing God when tough times come, but never for one second have I ever thought it would happen so close to home.

I held back my tears as I listened, and throughout the journey home, what she said, and what she felt kept playing in my head, as I try to understand her bitterness and how i should respond - or how should i have responded. I've never felt such intense honesty and pain before coming from someone, and it hurts me to see her hurting.

All i will do is to pray as she heads back and i hope, something good will come out of this. 

Wednesday, April 05, 2017


When i saw this i snickered. feel free to cringe, or laugh together with me hahaha

Friday, March 31, 2017

The recent issue on a primary Pendidikan Moral paper that received attention because it required students to match names to places of worship is really... a big sigh. The system is already not great to begin with, and to see such lack of preparation and sensitivity in preparing an exam paper is really an embarrassment to the teaching profession. It's as though the exam paper was haphazardly designed. Who would tailor such questions really? Issues like this will make the public generalize that government teachers are not fit to be teachers, making the stigma grow instead of eradicating it. All it takes is one rotten apple to light a spark that causes a whole forest to be in flames, in an instant. Gosh.

This is a reminder to me, to take pride in my profession and not to contribute to the (many) bad apples out there. Grr thinking about this makes me angry. 

Can someone just give the teacher the rightful disciplinary action? Because if no action is taken, there will be no lesson to learn, and the conundrum remains. 


Saturday, March 04, 2017

When i have random spurts of thought I will blog. Like now:

it's difficult to be hardworking cuz it requires so many things we don't want to do: diligence, patience, endurance, grit. Well, the only person between yourself and hardwork is YOU. 

So get moving. Wake up TM

Wednesday, March 01, 2017

Had one of the busiest weeks this week; lack of sleep, non-stop action, MC-ing, corresponding with VIPs etc. Made me feel exhausted, spent, tired and discouraged I could not focus on my research.

After a tiring two-day run, I dreaded going for the meet with my supervisors because i wana go for the meeting feeling excited, fresh and rejuvenated, not tired and discouraged. But the things he had to say greatly encouraged me, reminding me to persevere on and to work hard.

I hope i keep going and staying afloat!


Friday, February 24, 2017

John Watson: You didn't kill Mary. Mary died saving your life. Her choice. No one made her do it... you did not kill her.

Sherlock Holmes: In saving my life she conferred a value on it - it's a currency I do not know how to spend.

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

bazinga!

i realized many things.

i realized... i ought to be more initiative in my actions, in work. 

i realized i ought to ask more and stop assuming things. 

i realized every man is an island - whether they wana admit or not.

i realized that relying on my ownself won't work - i'll go back to square one, aka struggling.

all these realizations took place on my 5th year of being 21.

well. bazinga!

Wednesday, February 08, 2017

ramblings

Reconnecting myself to my roots of music!! 


there was a period in time where I ignored classical music. Gosh what a snob i was, and when i revisited it again, I was humbled and inspired. Damn if you can play classical music you can play any type of music genre. I recommend starting with piano first, because the basics of piano is extremely worth it as it creates a solid foundation for rhythm, timing, style, chords etc etc. Once you can play piano, playing guitar, the bass and drums will be a breeze. no regrets learning how 2 play the piano. used to hate theory but love practical lol. It's one of the best things that I cherish for life, because having the opportunity to channel your thoughts and emotions into playing is magical. 

Saturday, January 21, 2017

random

I stumbled upon a short snippet of vampire diaries, labelled "the salvatore brothers are back". and i felt guilty because I am (or was?) a VD fan until their previous season, where things just got weird and ridiculous. And i told myself I'd watch ep 1 of the new season and i did, but i couldnt stomach it. Agh nooo what's become of my VD blood in my veins??? noooo

sherlock, on the other hand, was not too bad, but at one point I felt the story progressed way too fast, but then the producers covered the tracks nicely and it ended quite okay. My rationalization kicked in too cuz each season only has 3 eps, and how can one condense everything to 3 eps?!? impossibru. So, because of that, I think the producers did a good job. Or maybe cuz I'm biased because I heart sherlock!

this post is a work-free post. lol. dedicated to the only shows I watch now: sherlock, runningman and grey's anatomy. AND fresh off the boat (my fav asian family)

adios amigos

Tuesday, January 03, 2017

I never knew what dread meant until it was the day before school reopens. I felt as if there was a dark cloud above my head. I dread going back to the place I hate but love, funnily. 

Alas, I sat myself down and spoke to me, internally in my head; I can choose to be dreadful about it, or I can choose to be positive about it. I have a choice on how I should feel about this damning situation which, is no damnation at all. It's just part of life. 

And so I chose the latter, with a dose of prayer. It went uphill after that, but when the hour draws near to the 'dreadful' moment, my spirits crashed again. Tears eventually sprang forth, and I let it flow. Whatever, let them tears channel my dread.

And then I went to sleep, and woke up, with less dread. This is just the beginning of my journey but at the end of the road I have a HOPE i can cling to, a faithful God who will see me through every moment.

I will hope on that.