I decided to read and scan through my blog posts since '11 and I was cringing almost almost the whole time. :0

I started with year 2011 and oh man I can't stomach what I wrote. The posts were so... chatty, so light-weighted, so kiddish and innocent-like. And rarely any deep or thought-provoking posts. Then I skimmed through year '12 and it wasn't so bad but there were still traces of fairy-dust and cotton candy. And then comes this year where all chattiness ceased and the cheesiness died off. The mood was somewhat more mellow and the tone more mature. It's like the lights dimmed a lot more on my stage compared to 2011. And to be honest, I like it. I like the 'me' now, more thought-centred and mature. I guess this year, the naiveness toned down a lot compared to the last two years. 

I've changed.

Come thou fount of every blessing
Turn my heart to sing Thy grace
Streams of mercy, never ceasing
Call for songs of loudest praise

Teach me some melodious sonnet
Sung by flaming tongues above
Praise the mount, I'm fixed upon it
Mount of Thy unchanging love

memories are all that's left...

Today I received a shocking news from Michelle that my lecturer, miss Asma has passed away yesterday night. At first she told me at about 9 something in the morning that she saw an fb post by her friend about it but both of us comforted ourselves that it was just a hoax. Also because our uni did not issue an official statement about it.

However, in the afternoon the news was confirmed where the official statement was issued.

I'm speechless and at loss for words. Why..? she was so young... I will always remember her boisterous laugh, her funny jokes, her spontaneity and how she was the one who insisted to have my phone on her desk for 3 classes straight coz I was playing wit it too much... 

rest in peace, miss asma. 

Was just chatting with michelle my coursemate on fb and she randomly asked me: "Tien, do you love malaysia?"

I'm sure she meant it as a random question without thinking hard about it, but to me it was a question that made me ponder... Do i love my country?

When I was young I used to dream of living overseas because of the four-seasonal weather, cute sheep, cottage houses, beautiful beaches, good food.. everything that is not Malaysianized. But now as an adult, my perceptions differ and my dream has changed. I realized that I'm so used to the environment here and the way how things are. It's like my second skin you know. And it took something big like the recent GE results to make me appreciate my country even more. It was the first time I ever cried for my home-ground. Now that's another story for another time. 

So my answer to her was: Yea i love my country..i love the people, i love the food. 

Lol that is like a summary of everything kan. but i really really do love the people and food. :-) 

So recently I have been in love with a unique kind of comfort foot wear: Birkenstock. A friend told me it fits your feet like a glove. Really. The contours of the sandal is designed specifically to fit the outline of your sole where once you wear it, it fits snugly & comfortably. That's why I want to get it! It is not cheap and that's why not everyone is willing to buy it. Hence, I wana be different & be one of the few to buy it.

It is a sandal of rarity, of class, comfort & style. (in my opinion la). I WILL buy you this year!!

These two are my top choices for colour. :) Doesn't look cheap at all. Yummy. 

Today I had a good catching-up session over lunch with these two. It was great sharing our lives with one another, which left me feeling all warm & cozy. :-) The person missing in this pic is Diana. Come back faster from UK!

what the holidays did to me

I can't remember where I got this pic from but it sure is pretty calming to look at.

Since the hols are here I've been having the time of my life; relaxing and chilling to the max, except for some stuff that needs to be done like christmas preparation & visiting english classes as a requirement for my course. I've also done a lot of reading (very happy!), finishing the Tiffany Aching  & Hunger Games series that I bought in Feb. I was soo tempted to read it then but I controlled myself, saving it for holidays.

 I love reading. Can't understand how some don't like reading. different interests? not used to the habit of reading? To read a book is to be edified, to be taken into a whole new world to feel, to love, to sympathize, to cry. I've spent an entire day finishing a book because it's too good to put down. Everyone needs an escape sometime through a good book with good coffee. 

I've also done some re-checking on the friendships I've made throughout this year (or my entire lifetime haha). Quite cryptic huh. Some friendships are for keeps, some are stagnant where no one wants to probe further while a few needed to be released from my circle. That being said, it sorta opened my eyes to who are my true friends and who are not. 

Self-reflection also has been done. One needs to reflect back in order to improve... Yup. You'd be surprised how fulfilling this is. 

Running man has also been on my list! My fav show. :-) K lah I feel my blogging mojo seeping out of me. Tata! Until next time.

Feel

Yesterday evening out of spontaneity I decided to step out onto my front lawn to observe greenery & to feel the wind flowing through me. And I was not disappointed :)

The wind was surprisingly very breezy. I loved it. Loved how the cold wind (yes, it was cold!) blew through me, whipping my hair backwards. If only I my house is outside a beach...

I noticed too that the clouds were fluffed in a purplish-violet hue. 

My grass was mostly brown, prolly suffering from draught (haha) but there were specks of green growing at random spots. 

It was my first time in '13 to put down what I was doing to just step out to my lawn, be still, observe & feel.