I'm gona grad in a year's time. Still quite uncertain for what's to come... but, I'll take it as it comes. I still keep in touch with some of my students on fb/whatsapp to see how they're faring in everyday classes and especially their english dialogue. Sorry folks but imma say this again and again; i miss my students :P 

Talking about the next sem makes me pening. Curse you, elective courses! I thought long and hard on which elective course to take and did my hard-earned research by asking a few seniors and googling and I finally concluded that 20th century drama is the best candidate. Mr Google and a friend said that it's about reading short skits and about self-searching etc. Ok, sounds like another literature class that I hopefully can handle. So here's to 20th century drama and all the drama it'll bring in the next sem.

All right, so Day 3 of post-teaching was normal. I continued reading a book, went online, watched Dead Poets Society (great show btw. made me cry and showed me different ways on how to inspire my students), researched about 20th century drama, thought about things like my students, friendship, bass guitar (yeah i'm planning to learn it this year!), listened to songs and...that's it.

I guess I could get used to this for another week before my semester starts. Cheers, bloggers. Hi there Asia Colion, if you've popped by :-) 

post-teaching sucks

Everyone told us about the hype before and during teaching practical, but no one warned us about post-teaching. :( After 10 weeks of non-stop planning where everyday in my mind i'm constantly thinking about lesson plans and my students, when suddenly today, wham! my day is free, i can wake up however late i want etc. But i feel a sense of emptiness inside; the fun and exciting content that has been building up since the first day of teaching has been emptied on my last day of teaching and now i'm back to square one of hollowness.

How do i fill it again, I asked myself. Here i am, an overly-attached trainee teacher who is supposed to enjoy her first bumming day but instead it went on without meaning. I slacked, lie on my bed, went online, read a book and just be brain dead was not really fun. I miss the hype of preparing LP and thinking of interesting activities to try on my students. 

Uh oh... is this a sign that I miss... teaching?? or that I should go into teaching? *pulls hair in confusion* 

but bottom line is, I miss my students. :( I miss interacting with them and seeing their sakainess. I miss their loud noisy chatter and their kind personalities. I miss being stern with them when they play too much, like saying "Danish.." and give the stare. I miss helping students or answering their questions. I miss writing on the board and bursting into laughter when I find their answers a bit sakai. 

I just miss my students!!! :( hard to let go, but it has to be done. 

I want to dedicate this blog post to a church aunty of mine, the late Aunt Mooi Eng. She went home to be with the Lord on 22nd Aug and for three days while attending the wake services and funeral, I am deeply, deeply encouraged by the full life she has lived and inspired others.... her generosity, her genuine care, her gentleness.. She inspired me to really consider the teaching profession. The common thing that resonated through all the eulogies was how generous, loving and caring she was to anyone and how she trusted God all the way. She truly lived a full life.

Rest in peace, aunt Mooi Eng. May others whom you have inspired carry on your baton to impact other lives. 

4K smkbb

Warning: Long post ahead :P

ahh.. so my 10weeks of teaching practice has ended. I came into BB with a reluctant heart and expecting nothing. The first two weeks were tough because I was just getting used to the school and its system (and the boys too). Those two weeks I did my lesson plans with a heavy heart, I dragged my feet to school and I dread relieving classes. But then something happened along the way and from week 3 or 4, I started to look forward to plan interesting activities for my students and to come to school. 

I guess the fulfilment I found in teaching is in the little things like when I see my boys enjoying my lessons by laughing at my sakainess or by the funny questions I asked them or putting their all in designing their presentations on the mahjong paper. I will miss them :( very much. I guess I have to let go but it is hard. Oh well.. I'll keep in touch with them on and off on fb.

They did a simple farewell for me, but the thoughts and the effort they put in simply blew me away. When I entered their class, I saw the entire whiteboard was filled with their signatures and some messages and a big 'THANK YOU' written on it. They also pushed all the tables to one side and only left a few in the middle to put the food. jesen bought drinks, a few ordered ice from the canteen one day before (the thoughts that count aww!), syahmi fried ayamas chicken, shazlan brought hari raya cookies and aiman asked his mum to fry beehoon. Even by these I am touched because they took the initiative and have the heart to bring food for the farewell :( aww... 

danish and danial gave me Sticky sweets and Mogin gave me a huge chocolate bar. He actually asked me on FB chat whether I eat chocolate. And I said yeah, and then he said he will buy me one. Awww how can you not feel touched by their simple gestures. It's so hard for boys to be thoughtful, and 4K students were just amazing.

Also, they bought me a choc cake with the words 'Thank you Miss Chen Tien Mie' on it aww. And we took lotsa pictures because they wanted to take with me. And when it's time for me to leave the class, they did a BB chant for me (as in the tepuk-tepuk respect thing that scouts do) as a salute for me. So, how can I not feel sad to leave them? :( Sigh.. I wish them all the best, and I hope I have left a small impact in their lives. I hope they will remember that they are good boys. So as the saying goes, "you can either teach a subject, or teach a person". 

Picture time!:

This was the decorated whiteboard! awww

When I saw this I LOLed hahaha.

with keat & jesen

the awesome 4k, missing sri ram and Choo.

The Fabulous Five BB teachers. Oops, ex-bb teachers :(

With the CF boyz. (photo from Jeremy's fb)

The effort they put into designing this. aww

Geng melayu Haaa

Geng Cina

Geng india

Btw, if you're wondering whether I'm racist by calling them gengs according to their race, I'm not coz they playfully started it so just ikut along :)

with Perry and Danial. 

kang gary pose 

"Say Cheese!"

The choc cake that they surprised me with

two presents from my students. Thoughtful!

Am sad that it has ended and I have to hand in this record book that has been my teman for 10 weeks.

With the drunk fella. My indon maid. Free labour.. if you need her to clean your house, let me know ya. 

 So... that's it. 10 weeks of experience that has softened my hardened heart from teaching. I am now considering joining the teaching profession, and never in my wildest dreams would I even say that, until now. Anything can happen :) Thank you Lord.. Thank you BB.. thank you 4K. 

week 9.

My final official observation was today and really thank God all went well :) The thing that resonated throughout today was the comment frm my lecturer of me having good rapport with my students. It made me think back from Day 1 how my students and I didnt have rapport at first maybe coz I was distant from them and I didnt feel like teaching. But in the 3rd-4th week things became much better and until today, I enjoy talking and teaching my form4 students. Can't believe I'm even saying this! lol.. those who know me would not have thought that I wud enjoy my teaching practical. Me too. Well, anything can happen :)

Too awesome on how much I've changed since Day 1 until now. Really amazed how I've been changed and moulded :)

Neways, here're two pics of the peralihan kids I'm helping out in! Such cute kids. But very sad because they're already in F1 but still cannot spell or read properly. So I've decided to continue with this program even after my practical and before my semester starts. They need help and since i'm free until sem starts, why not. I'm ok with sacrificing two hours on a tuesday for them. Besides, two hours ain't gona kill my holiday period anyway. And who knows, I can even bump into my F4 students too :)

attentively watching upin and ipin. Cute.

yours truly with the kids. 

Great experience in BB. Three more days left so I'm gona make the best out of it.

my thoughts.

Just 10 days left til I finish my practical. Now when I think back, it's a blessing in disguise to get this boys' school because although they are loud, cheeky, mischievous and naughty (only applies to certain classes),  they have taught me something valuable. these boys, especially the ones in my class have moved my heart to be more loving, patient and caring. Yes, they made me angry. Yes, they made me stressed out. Yes, I have shed tears for them. Yes, they made me crack my head every time for new activities. 

But they also made me laugh at their silly comments, their funny answers in my homework and their playfulness in class. They give me warmth in my heart whenever they pass up their h/w or when they all co-operated soo well whenever my lecturer comes twice. They made me expand my heart to love and care for them. They broke down my judgemental mindset of thinking that classes like this class are trouble-makers. Their sincere smiles and the occasional "cikgu, ok tak?" brighten up my sad days. their cheerful greetings of "good morning teacher/hiii teacher" made me smile and reply back with enthusiasm. Majority of them are not arrogant or sombong. To me, they have the most sincere and selfless hearts in da whole of F4 xp

I am also very sad and heartbroken to know that most of them do not come from well-off families. Not only my english class but most of the boys in BB. some come from shelter homes, some come from troubled families, some don't have good stationary to use in school etc. that is probably one of the contributing factors to their behaviour. And this is also where reality slaps me hard in the face and say, "Hey. the problems that u read in story books like students' parents divorced, students growing up in gangster areas, students' parents dont love them.... well, it's very real here in this school you're in."

I wonder whether my heart will be moved or not if I got to those top cluster schools where majority of the students are well-fed, well-loved and can have everything they want. I don't think so(in my humble opinion).

So...thank you, smk** for moving my heart, for breaking the wall of my judgemental mindset and for teaching me more than I can ever learn about humanity, love and compassion.