"Let us hope that the dark clouds of racial prejudice will soon pass away and the deep fog of misunderstanding will be lifted from our fear-drenched communities and in some not too distant tomorrow the radiant stars of love and brotherhood will shine over our great nation with all of their scintillating beauty." 

Letter from Birmingham Jail, Martin Luther King Jr.

A friend shared this on fb. I love reading paragraphs like this. So rich in description, so heavy with meaning. I love it.

Prof umbridge in d house yo

LOL how apt. Life is a rollercoaster now. I seriously need more time in a day. I need more days in a week!!!! T.T 

What's more, tomorrow I have a compulsory training in Hogwarts on how to manage stress. -_- On a Saturday. Seriously? Why kacau our saturdays?! *cries in a corner* saturdays are my days to catch up on my masters. why rob it from me. SIGH

Oh gomen.... if only you would tune your resources to things much more pressing and quit wasting TIME on trivial matters. TIME is precious, TIME is money. it should never be wasted on ridiculous seminars just for the sake of abiding on what's been stated on paper. C'mon gaiz... yall haf brainzz... 6 ounces of em.... USE EM WISELY.. dont let it go to waste, although I already feel yall have been wasting it all these while.

now now waittamin, hold your horses yall, dont accuse me of badmouthing. I mentioned no name, no organization. I was merely referring to the time when Prof Umbridge was the head of management. Sigh. She really does have a huge ass hair and a penchant for jewelry.

because i'm tired and jaded, this post is dedicated to fluff talk: 

The new Mcd Syok burger. 

Ya i doing a free promotional plug for them hahaha apa la me. It looks almost like the Rio burger (which is my no1 burger from mcd bcoz of i) its spiciness which, I felt is Ze Bez ii) the quality of the beef; thicker than bigmac). This syok burger looks spicy to me but i hope it tastes the same as the Rio one. Aghh when i saw it i was like OK I must HAVE it die die also must eat it this week. 

But to be honest I'm kinda sick of mcd fries. whenever i eat it, 0.01% of my love for mcd fizzles out. It tastes eew. I wish it'd be more like Carls' junior fries. That one is worth my tastebuds. and i try not to order Coke or Pepsi anymore coz too sweet (yes u must be thinking wth after all the fats and cholesterol i've eaten frm mcd i decided to comfort myself by not ordering soft drinks. Well you are quite right.)

srsly mcd needs to acknowledge my sacrifices I've made to my health, just for the love of their burgers. hmmph. 

sigh... tired.. dont want to think about the workload and the amount of reading and writing i need to do. How do i escape this conundrum. How do i make this... "burden" to be something I enjoy doing? There is nowhere I can run to. More running leads to piled up workload. Just face it and deal with it like an adult.

Just when I felt like shite, I saw my supervisor's comment on my proposal draft. Although it may seem like any other normal comment, it suggests an ammendment and direction that I can make and go to. And it gave me a glimmer of hope, that after a tiring day, there is something to be thankful for. 

surviving

Week 1 of my job stint: was in afternoon for 1 day and was shifted to morning sesh bcoz i have classes in the evenings which cant be postponed. The girls are overall demure, nice, harmless (lol). The teachers are so, so warm and friendly. They really made me feel welcomed in school and are ever ready with a smile, a short greeting and a laugh. <3 It really made me less discouraged coz my house to klang is about 30-40min drive, so everyday i'll be driving about 1hr plus. 

At times I wonder how on earth am i going to balance preparing all the lesson plans and reading journals and writing my thesis. (this school has only 2 eng teachers, and one is gonna pass her class to me soon because of health conditions. x.x) i'm not ready. scared. i haven't been teaching since 2014. rusty. complacent. >.< 

but mum told me to count my blessings. just be thankful for whatever I have. When I see these girls and look at the draught of English teachers in this school, I know Im not here by chance. but when i see myself i know i'm not equipped at ALL. i can only learn so much in the 4 yrs of undergrad but when it comes to application, everything thrown out of the window. the only thing i can take with me is my 3mnths practicum stint. and that itself is slowly fading in memory. :( 

 gahhhhh.

cant wait for LCW finals tonight. holy smokes.

So... I've been thinking and weighing the pros and cons, and looks like I'll be accepting my first ever teaching post in a convent in klang, afternoon sesh. Yay or nay, I shall find out tomorrow. Nads reminded me of how during my practicum I got a boys' school and now it's a girls' school. Both are mission schools. Is this a coincidence?? I dont know.

The struggle is balancing this and masters. All i can do now is work hard, have good time management, prepare to make sacrifices (like chillout time, entertainment time on weekends etc) and trust God!!!! :0 :0 

TRUE THAT. PEACE OUT. *drops mic*

jaded...

...with life.

...with responsibilities.

...with workload.

...with friendships.

i yearn to read my crime thriller novel without an ounce of worry in my mind. gah. 

Life's rough tides

Life hits again; i got the offer to teach in Selangor state but the thing is I am tied down with masters. What am I to do?!?! To reject the offer is to disappoint my parents; to accept it is to bear the consequences of daily stress and in the long run either one has to be compromised. No two choices are easy.

What to do now?? :( Damn. I shouldn't have applied so fast. I shouldn't be crying over spilt milk because I cant turn back the clock. People are saying do masters part-time. But why do part-time if I can do full-time. Sigh. I dont know. Can i flip a table instead. 

To make matters worse I only have less than a week to decide. Kmenterian why you so damn efficient?!? Grr. To rant about their 'efficiency' will be another long rant. sigh.

Pray pray pray and ask for direction. 

When you try your best, but you don't succeed

When you get what you want, but not what you need

When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face

When you lose something you can't replace

When you love someone, but it goes to waste

Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

--------------------

When the responsibilities increase and I cant keep running away from it, I'll face it together with God who'll sustain and strengthen me. 

It's crunch time!!!!!!!

(taken from grammarly.com)

Another point is because I'm enthralled by their style of writing and I wana know what will happen to the characters in a book. speaking of books i need to renew my library books! gulp.