I bid you a fond farewell

And so, with the final installment of The Hobbit released, 'tis the moment to bid farewell to Middle-Earth. It has been an honour and a privilege to read & to watch such a beautifully written trilogy. 

The epic tale of Middle-Earth has come to an end on screen, but it will never be forgotten on print & paper. I heart LOTR/The Hobbit. 

This is the theme song for the final installment of The Hobbit. It was specifically written as a closing for all six movies of LOTR & The Hobbit. *sigh* 

Blessed christmas :)

In the midst of all presents & performance & food, may I never forget the true meaning of xmas, & never take it for granted.

Merry christmas eve :)

cheers to drinks, feasting & merriment this season. (pic courtesy from Joyee's instagram) 

Random trinkets

This year I've been doing more thinking than usual. The stuff that occupy most of my thoughts are my future, graduation, what I need to improve on as I grow older, the books I've read or need to read, the people I've met or have been acquainted for some time and other minute thoughts that are too insignificant to remember. Put it simply, it's good to do some thinking and not just go through life  and waste another year mindlessly without thought. 

I'm turning 24 soon, and I'm acutely aware that there're a lot of things that I still don't know, especially out in the big bad world. I don't think my circle of friends feel the same way like I do haha. Neways, the good thing is when I look back at the past 3 years that I've entered uni, I can confidently say that I've learnt and grown so much compared to life before uni. Life in uni is so different compared to life in secondary school & F6. Uni moulds you to be independent in action and thought.  it pushes you out of your comfort zone and makes you discover your leadership skills. It is a platform to share ideas and to be diplomatic with one another during discussions. It makes one agree to disagree and to be level-headed in all situations. So many things lah... but all these come gradually in these 3 years, and it takes one to realize it when looking back in the rear view mirror. 

Anyway. Lately I've been looking at my bookshelf and seeing what books I can re-read just coz I ran out of ideas on what books to buy or borrow. So far I've done Marley & Me (cried again), to kill a mockingbird and lord of the rings trilogy. Re-reading a book makes you notice new things that you've missed when u read it d first time. As for now, I'm attempting The Silmarillion by JRR Tolkien.

. 

The same author as the lord of the rings. A lil challenging to read coz if you're not a hardcore fantasy person like me, you won't know how to enjoy this. But, I'm giving this book the benefit of the doubt and am trying to read different genres too. I enjoyed reading the lord of the rings so much, so why not give this a try. ;) Happy reading, guys! Reading is good for the soul.

and here comes the end

It's a week til Christmas, two weeks til a church buddy's wedding, two weeks to 2015, and two weeks to the end of 2014. Yet again I'll always say  this at every end-year post: Time flies. (when you're having fun)

2014 was great with the good and the bad. From the top of my head, I'm just gona mention, the stuff that I can remember:
 teaching practicum, a very chill-out Fourth Year in uni, the passing of someone whose principles in life have changed my perception on things & tht i'll never forget, getting involved in the youth ministry, building friendships with the younger youth, sorting out my friendships from the good to the bad, and... that's all that I can remember.

Another year is coming to an end. Have you lived purposefully this year?

Finally, my community project is over. OVER! Phew! If you think my team mates are feeling tired throughout the planning process, the project manager aka me will definitely feel more tired & worn out ok. Spare me some sympathy & thought, if you may. 

Anyway, to me the project was a success. Yes, got tiny blunders here and there but it definitely didnt dampen the spirit. the students liked it :) I'm really encouraged to have met some of mich's students from CHS. They were sooo enthusiastic and were the initiators of everything, and this is good as it kept the energy level up for this event. I spoke to most of them and wow they're very proficient in English. Makes me feel like I'm talking to my older church mates. I like them instantly.  And also I think it's the environment that they're in (cluster school, good family bringing up etc) that moulded them into such positive individuals. Truly I'm encouraged by their lively spirits. 

Finally, I'm reli happy to meet my former students frm BB again. They're such fun sports! Nadia liked them immediately too :) I really am thankful for them to agree to come to this event so willingly without hesitation. They're the ones I owe a lot to in making this event a success. Without them, d event would be a failure. So... thank you once again 4K. first, for changin my perception & teaching me to care more during practical, and now this. Tcare

Food

To commemorate the 500th post, here are some of my favvv foodie pics consumed by yours truly ;)

chicken hor fun soup. super yummy. seapark.

Fatboys burger in publika. 

thursdvys in ttdi. smoked salmon FTW!!

fav korean joint in solaris. Yum. Sizzling pork slices dipped in special sauce. Slurp

rose hoegaarden beer @ brussels beer cafe with my uni mates

& surprisingly their pork burger was.. mmm wow

BBQ of a selection of meat for christmas thanksgiving. Sedap

section 17 burger @ The Grind. beef patty was nice

homemade pan mee by a friend's mum

Ikea meatballs!! You can never go wrong with this. But lately their standard jatuh. Meh

Bavarian House in section 17 tht sells good german food 

Now this; I've been craving for this. Beef pho noodles in thailand, but the closest is in TCM. I wannn

Atas roti canai @ namaste ttdi. My regular roti canai joint.

RAW salmon. slurp

Lai thai section 17. D most authentic thai food in PJ. broth is kickin

young folks

"Familiarity creates comfort. But comfort is often the enemy of improvement."

May I be receptive to change, learning new things, taking charge & being more responsible as I age. haha. 

Lately I realized tht thre is stagnation in a few of my friendships. All we do is everyday blabber and empty chitchat. While all of this is relaxing and fun, there is no growth. It's good to be around ppl with big dreams and a direction in their lives in order to inspire me, to have intellectual conversations with on how to deal with sticky situations, life, current issues, the future etc. All in the process of growing up. 

Thankfully I have my Father up above, my super awesome & matured bro, my wise parents & some matured church peeps to provide some insight & guidance. What will I do without you all :)

Alas, I finished re-reading The Lord of the Rings trilogy. The last time I read it was in 2011 but I stopped 1/4 in The Return of the King because then, I felt it was too long and windy. But recently, for the past 1 week, I savoured every detail & description of this trilogy and when I came to the ending, I got teary-eyed when Frodo decided to leave the Shire & his hobbit mates. To many, it may be nothing but to me I guess I connected deeply with these characters & I've seen how they've endured so much throughout their journey in Middle-Earth. Not only the hobbits but for the rest of the company who journeyed in this quest; aragorn, legolas, gandalf (!), boromir & gimli. 

Great, great book this is. Worth re-reading. No regrets at all. Tolkien is a genius. He brought to life his ideas of a fictional Middle-Earth & its inhabitants, all brilliantly woven in this book. Such a gem!! I don't mind reading this again 3 years down the road =) When I have kids (if I do) I would definitely ask them to read this book.

Long live The Lord of the Rings!

good times  #nostalgic 

all the fun we had; the drillings from the boss aka the conductor, the berbonding moments over correct notes with my alto members, vocal warm-ups, making fun of each other during pracs, taking candid shots during practices, putting make-up for one another, travelling to Nilai together, the discussions n chats wit boss, praying together collectively as a choir before our performances, the hustle and bustle of our full dress rehearsal, the excitement of hearing everyone sing beautifully in harmony, the concentration on the conductor and the feelings/emotions we evoke while singing, the discretion of getting everyone's written farewell messages for the conductor right under his nose (haha), the aftermath of our performance which included a lot of Yays and hugging and snapping pix and handing the farewell msgs to a surprised conductor and finally snapping this pic. It was a fun group to be with. :')

Good times indeed. 

Seeing all my seniors' graduation pictures makes me think of my turn next year (!!!) and about the future. I can't wait to graduate :) To me, the pinnacle of graduation is not in high school or college or kindie, but in university. It's significant to me coz uni's the highest form of education and if one graduates from it, then... one has indeed made it this far. Congrats, seniors. You did it! All the best in you future endeavours and your new phase in life. 

As I sit here and type, I can see my future after graduation looking a lil hazy. Lol.. this is something every soon-to-be graduate will face. Decisions and decisions! Which will be the best? *pulls hair* Time to talk to seniors, my bro, parents and peers older than me to get advice. I'm excited for what the 'haze' has in store after grad :) 

As for now, I'll just enjoy my mid-sem break chilling and thinking about christmas. Cheers!

semester break is coming and I still think I'm in the first week of lectures. Too chilled, too relaxing. -.-" gahh. Is this what fourth year 1st sem feels like? 

neways, a church buddy asked me to be his wedding pianist.. my first time to be a pianist @ a wedding.. (performances in wedding doesnt count.) He's not just any person but my music guru who taught me how to play much better on piano i.e. the chords, timing, syncopated timing etc. And because of him passing down his music knowledge to me, I now am trying to pass it down to other younger pianists too. And to be asked to play for his wedding... wow...me, a small fry playing for the music boss' wedding?? it makes me feel honoured, humbled and excited to be a part of the making of a beautiful and a memorable wedding. Heartiest congrats!

btw it's mid-Oct.. zzzzzzzzzzzz nitez

Hate getting sick

This week I got sick T.T viral infection in my digestive system. sounds bad but yeah it was pretty bad  ok  i vomited 4 times and had slight fever + bad sorethroat. and doc gave me a strict diet of only half a toasted bread and porridge as these food are the only food that can be digested. and am confined to easily digested home-cooked food for a few days. :( . but now I'm on the road to recovery. feeling a lot better but not fully recovered yet. Hate getting sick. :(

take care of yourselves and be wary coz the infection i got is from the air. Must be i went to my uni's KPS makan place where all students were there so virus thrives there. -_- dang. if only i chose not to go kps that day then this wouldn't happen. 

Now's the season to get married.. recently my church mate got married and it was a very lovely wedding :') next year 2 more church pals are getting married and  I cant wait for theirs!! :) marriages are a lovely thing.

Today I met some of my students when I went back to school today to teach the peralihan kids. After 1 month, it was really good to see 4 of them again! Now it's exam period so I'm glad that some of them are going to the main library in PJ state to study. Good.. Reminds me about 3 months ago how I dread teaching in their class but now I miss teaching them. Hence today's informal meet up with them made my day :)

Neways, now my focus is to teach the peralihan kids who need a lot more help in their basics like their ABC's and spelling. Cute kids really, all small, chubby, innocent but cheeky. Very cheeky. I hope they will remain innocent throughout high school, which is usually not the case sadly. 

Cheers to all the teachers around the world who have the heart and will to educate kids in high schools, primary, kids with special needs and kindies. :)

Im always busy towards the end of the year with christmas and assignments that sometimes I forget the true meaning of christmas. It's easy to get caught up in all the preparation for choir etc etc that sometimes it can become a mechanical routine instead of a service. May this year be a year where in the midst of busyness, I will not forget the true meaning of Christmas to me.

Sept is almost ending!!! wake up wake up! *cue wake me up when september ends song*

i'm all about that bass

So I've gotten a new buddy in da house:

heh.. not mine actually as I borrowed it from a church buddy. So kind of him to loan it to me (tq, J!) Recently I had this urge to learn bass guitar because piano is pretty overrated now haha and also my church is lacking bassists :p and also I think it's not very hard to learn. so what better excuse than to learn it and voila! 

It's pretty simple actually. if u know the keys to your piano well, then this is also like playing the piano, except that you only play note by note and you must know where the notes are. And also fingering, plucking and tapping. It's true when they say if you can play piano, you can play any instrument. For now I am a very amateur guitarist, drummer and bassist. 

but the thing is. I need an amp!!! and a bass cord. gah.. if I buy it, I'm afraid it'll be wasted coz I dont own a bass guitar of my own, unless I plan to invest in one. If I borrow an amp and bass cord from someone, erm... I'm not sure if I can find that someone. Oh well.. we'll see how it goes. 

buddies

self-proclaimed picture of the day:

i miss 2 of my pals who're overseas. one is gona be there for 1 year and the other... 3/4 years :( but am happy coz there's snail mail and modern technology to keep in touch. 

am already feeling nostalgic on a friday morning. whutt.. 

that's all.. i kinda lost my blogging mojo. it has left me for someone else ;P

is it weird that i reli love cute and fatttt babies? but i wont want to have any of my own? hahaha. 

 having a kid of your own is not just some fun idea you want to have or just coz you feel like experiencing childbirth. It's a life-long commitment ya know.. Life... long... (cue thunder and lightning) you must be mentally and emotionally prepared for what's to come a.k.a the good and bad.. and you must be mature enough to take care of your kids and impart good values to them.. and teach them everything. Everyythinggg like good manners, shaping their perceptions etc. but more often than not, parents find joy in having kiddies. they focus on the joys rather than the sorrows and that's a mighty good thing to keep one on track. also coz they've imprinted certain features of themselves on their babes. haha. 

sorry, this is a veryy random topic for a 23yr old to blog about but it's because i was checking out some of my church mate's baby pictures & wahh all so adorable!!!! and my mind started working and the machines were clicking in my head and it led me to this blog post. 

but who knows... down the road in 24543 years' time i might consider having kiddies. :p 

or not. 

newayz... week 2 of lectures has arrived and so far, things are ok but moving ever so slowly. yawnnnssss

So I have entered my final year in uni :) Wow. Can't believe I went through 3 years of teaching theories and blablabla. 

I didnt want to skip the first week because if I come to class in the second week, I won't have time to get used to lectures or the timing of the lectures. So yep the first week is for me to familiarize again with the uni habitat before 2nd week comes in. Heh smart leh I thought about all these on the night before the first day coz... well as final year students, we should, you know, plan ahead and show everyone that you are worthy to be called a Final Year Student. I know it's a really small thing to plan ahead but hey, small steps make way for bigger things to come. Plus it shows your maturity 

.

Ok I was just crapping coz that doesn't really make sense. But deep down in your heart's core you and I know there is some truth in it. *smirk* 

anyway, i'm looking forward to 4th year and what it will bring me. Summary of my years in tesl:
1st year: forgettable. Still naive. Immature.

2nd year: forgettable. boring. Got my first ever first class. [sadly this is not in repetitive mode]
3rd year: Not too bad. Got some friendship drama thingy which brings us back to first year = immature.
Teaching practice: ENJoYeD it!! (except the first two weeks which were hell).
4th year: _________________

we'll see. 

4 Kerjasama

pardon my overflowing attachment to my students. warning: this post may be boring for some so read at your own risk :P

my student just msg me on fb out of the blue and said hello. aww. and another student said he went to the library today to see me but apparently i was not there. i was there, but just in another room only o wells. I'm too attached to my students and i miss them! agh.. it's ok coz this is d first time i experienced teaching so there's bound to be some form of attachment. pls tell me i'm not the only one missing my students... :(

yup my class in a nutshell. I miss you all, 4K! Be good boys plz. prove to the other teachers that though you are not the best class and though you are super playful and though everyone sees your class as noisy, you are students with good hearts and that you too deserve equal attention and care from teachers. Prove to them that so whut if yall are noisy! as long as you show it through your grades and allow your good characters to shine. Make them zip their mouths and break their judgemental mindsets like how you broke mine. :) tq for that. I believe in you all because I see kindness in each and every one of you. Use that. 

ok i shall end my sappy ramblings here. guess they'll never have the chance to read this post haha but that's ok :) i can care in other ways i 'spose.

have a good week!

I'm gona grad in a year's time. Still quite uncertain for what's to come... but, I'll take it as it comes. I still keep in touch with some of my students on fb/whatsapp to see how they're faring in everyday classes and especially their english dialogue. Sorry folks but imma say this again and again; i miss my students :P 

Talking about the next sem makes me pening. Curse you, elective courses! I thought long and hard on which elective course to take and did my hard-earned research by asking a few seniors and googling and I finally concluded that 20th century drama is the best candidate. Mr Google and a friend said that it's about reading short skits and about self-searching etc. Ok, sounds like another literature class that I hopefully can handle. So here's to 20th century drama and all the drama it'll bring in the next sem.

All right, so Day 3 of post-teaching was normal. I continued reading a book, went online, watched Dead Poets Society (great show btw. made me cry and showed me different ways on how to inspire my students), researched about 20th century drama, thought about things like my students, friendship, bass guitar (yeah i'm planning to learn it this year!), listened to songs and...that's it.

I guess I could get used to this for another week before my semester starts. Cheers, bloggers. Hi there Asia Colion, if you've popped by :-) 

post-teaching sucks

Everyone told us about the hype before and during teaching practical, but no one warned us about post-teaching. :( After 10 weeks of non-stop planning where everyday in my mind i'm constantly thinking about lesson plans and my students, when suddenly today, wham! my day is free, i can wake up however late i want etc. But i feel a sense of emptiness inside; the fun and exciting content that has been building up since the first day of teaching has been emptied on my last day of teaching and now i'm back to square one of hollowness.

How do i fill it again, I asked myself. Here i am, an overly-attached trainee teacher who is supposed to enjoy her first bumming day but instead it went on without meaning. I slacked, lie on my bed, went online, read a book and just be brain dead was not really fun. I miss the hype of preparing LP and thinking of interesting activities to try on my students. 

Uh oh... is this a sign that I miss... teaching?? or that I should go into teaching? *pulls hair in confusion* 

but bottom line is, I miss my students. :( I miss interacting with them and seeing their sakainess. I miss their loud noisy chatter and their kind personalities. I miss being stern with them when they play too much, like saying "Danish.." and give the stare. I miss helping students or answering their questions. I miss writing on the board and bursting into laughter when I find their answers a bit sakai. 

I just miss my students!!! :( hard to let go, but it has to be done. 

I want to dedicate this blog post to a church aunty of mine, the late Aunt Mooi Eng. She went home to be with the Lord on 22nd Aug and for three days while attending the wake services and funeral, I am deeply, deeply encouraged by the full life she has lived and inspired others.... her generosity, her genuine care, her gentleness.. She inspired me to really consider the teaching profession. The common thing that resonated through all the eulogies was how generous, loving and caring she was to anyone and how she trusted God all the way. She truly lived a full life.

Rest in peace, aunt Mooi Eng. May others whom you have inspired carry on your baton to impact other lives. 

4K smkbb

Warning: Long post ahead :P

ahh.. so my 10weeks of teaching practice has ended. I came into BB with a reluctant heart and expecting nothing. The first two weeks were tough because I was just getting used to the school and its system (and the boys too). Those two weeks I did my lesson plans with a heavy heart, I dragged my feet to school and I dread relieving classes. But then something happened along the way and from week 3 or 4, I started to look forward to plan interesting activities for my students and to come to school. 

I guess the fulfilment I found in teaching is in the little things like when I see my boys enjoying my lessons by laughing at my sakainess or by the funny questions I asked them or putting their all in designing their presentations on the mahjong paper. I will miss them :( very much. I guess I have to let go but it is hard. Oh well.. I'll keep in touch with them on and off on fb.

They did a simple farewell for me, but the thoughts and the effort they put in simply blew me away. When I entered their class, I saw the entire whiteboard was filled with their signatures and some messages and a big 'THANK YOU' written on it. They also pushed all the tables to one side and only left a few in the middle to put the food. jesen bought drinks, a few ordered ice from the canteen one day before (the thoughts that count aww!), syahmi fried ayamas chicken, shazlan brought hari raya cookies and aiman asked his mum to fry beehoon. Even by these I am touched because they took the initiative and have the heart to bring food for the farewell :( aww... 

danish and danial gave me Sticky sweets and Mogin gave me a huge chocolate bar. He actually asked me on FB chat whether I eat chocolate. And I said yeah, and then he said he will buy me one. Awww how can you not feel touched by their simple gestures. It's so hard for boys to be thoughtful, and 4K students were just amazing.

Also, they bought me a choc cake with the words 'Thank you Miss Chen Tien Mie' on it aww. And we took lotsa pictures because they wanted to take with me. And when it's time for me to leave the class, they did a BB chant for me (as in the tepuk-tepuk respect thing that scouts do) as a salute for me. So, how can I not feel sad to leave them? :( Sigh.. I wish them all the best, and I hope I have left a small impact in their lives. I hope they will remember that they are good boys. So as the saying goes, "you can either teach a subject, or teach a person". 

Picture time!:

This was the decorated whiteboard! awww

When I saw this I LOLed hahaha.

with keat & jesen

the awesome 4k, missing sri ram and Choo.

The Fabulous Five BB teachers. Oops, ex-bb teachers :(

With the CF boyz. (photo from Jeremy's fb)

The effort they put into designing this. aww

Geng melayu Haaa

Geng Cina

Geng india

Btw, if you're wondering whether I'm racist by calling them gengs according to their race, I'm not coz they playfully started it so just ikut along :)

with Perry and Danial. 

kang gary pose 

"Say Cheese!"

The choc cake that they surprised me with

two presents from my students. Thoughtful!

Am sad that it has ended and I have to hand in this record book that has been my teman for 10 weeks.

With the drunk fella. My indon maid. Free labour.. if you need her to clean your house, let me know ya. 

 So... that's it. 10 weeks of experience that has softened my hardened heart from teaching. I am now considering joining the teaching profession, and never in my wildest dreams would I even say that, until now. Anything can happen :) Thank you Lord.. Thank you BB.. thank you 4K. 

week 9.

My final official observation was today and really thank God all went well :) The thing that resonated throughout today was the comment frm my lecturer of me having good rapport with my students. It made me think back from Day 1 how my students and I didnt have rapport at first maybe coz I was distant from them and I didnt feel like teaching. But in the 3rd-4th week things became much better and until today, I enjoy talking and teaching my form4 students. Can't believe I'm even saying this! lol.. those who know me would not have thought that I wud enjoy my teaching practical. Me too. Well, anything can happen :)

Too awesome on how much I've changed since Day 1 until now. Really amazed how I've been changed and moulded :)

Neways, here're two pics of the peralihan kids I'm helping out in! Such cute kids. But very sad because they're already in F1 but still cannot spell or read properly. So I've decided to continue with this program even after my practical and before my semester starts. They need help and since i'm free until sem starts, why not. I'm ok with sacrificing two hours on a tuesday for them. Besides, two hours ain't gona kill my holiday period anyway. And who knows, I can even bump into my F4 students too :)

attentively watching upin and ipin. Cute.

yours truly with the kids. 

Great experience in BB. Three more days left so I'm gona make the best out of it.

my thoughts.

Just 10 days left til I finish my practical. Now when I think back, it's a blessing in disguise to get this boys' school because although they are loud, cheeky, mischievous and naughty (only applies to certain classes),  they have taught me something valuable. these boys, especially the ones in my class have moved my heart to be more loving, patient and caring. Yes, they made me angry. Yes, they made me stressed out. Yes, I have shed tears for them. Yes, they made me crack my head every time for new activities. 

But they also made me laugh at their silly comments, their funny answers in my homework and their playfulness in class. They give me warmth in my heart whenever they pass up their h/w or when they all co-operated soo well whenever my lecturer comes twice. They made me expand my heart to love and care for them. They broke down my judgemental mindset of thinking that classes like this class are trouble-makers. Their sincere smiles and the occasional "cikgu, ok tak?" brighten up my sad days. their cheerful greetings of "good morning teacher/hiii teacher" made me smile and reply back with enthusiasm. Majority of them are not arrogant or sombong. To me, they have the most sincere and selfless hearts in da whole of F4 xp

I am also very sad and heartbroken to know that most of them do not come from well-off families. Not only my english class but most of the boys in BB. some come from shelter homes, some come from troubled families, some don't have good stationary to use in school etc. that is probably one of the contributing factors to their behaviour. And this is also where reality slaps me hard in the face and say, "Hey. the problems that u read in story books like students' parents divorced, students growing up in gangster areas, students' parents dont love them.... well, it's very real here in this school you're in."

I wonder whether my heart will be moved or not if I got to those top cluster schools where majority of the students are well-fed, well-loved and can have everything they want. I don't think so(in my humble opinion).

So...thank you, smk** for moving my heart, for breaking the wall of my judgemental mindset and for teaching me more than I can ever learn about humanity, love and compassion.

and so i'm at this point in life where i need to surround myself with intellectuals and people who can inspire me, thanks to my bro and dad. They keep telling me to mix with people of different perspectives other than my usual circle of friends in order to give me another perspective in life. Dad says I can't keep mixing with the same people with the same mindset as me or else I won't learn anything from them. instead, they are the ones who learnt stuff from me (or so my dad says). And to be honest, he's quite right. Sometimes I feel stagnant in some of my current social circles where I'm not learning anything. All we do is empty talk which is fun and entertaining, but...where's the growth in that?

Nonetheless i'm thankful that my bro/mum+dad are there to equip me with useful knowledge and they're ppl I can discuss world issues with. (more like asking him questions haha). They're the ones i turn to if i need to know more about, say, the happenings in israel and gaza, the tension between russia and ukraine etc. and  also some of my church friends too who're older than me whom I look up to and how they deal with problems/situations in life with diplomacy. :D

So... yeah. Do you think you're gaining anything in your circle of friends? Or do you need to break out from your usual circle? Food for thought. Definitely something that I will ponder on as my last year in uni approaches.

p.s.: school hols is ending. time to face reality once again. 20days left and.. sayonara!

6 weeks of learning

It's the holiday season now!! YAY!!! :D So happy the 1 week hol has arrived. It was just 5 weeks ago when Pearl and I were saying 'very fast wan the hols come' and wham! it's here :) Can't believe 5 weeks of teaching passed already. And left only 15days/3 weeks until I bid my students farewell. :( Feeling happy but sad too.

I get defensive if any teacher says my f4 students are naughty/dumb/not smart/not worthy of studying. Before judging them we should look at their family backgrounds and what was it like at home for them. A lot of BB boys came from broken families or shelter homes and to me, it was a very sad eye-opener where the difficult stuff of reality sinks in. A friend I recently spoke to told me that despite it being a school that needs enforcement in discipline, it is a school that has a Heart in d middle of it compared to other good schools. This is where the teachers are tested to reach out to the students to touch and mend broken lives and hopefully, to make a difference.

My heart goes out to the students who lack care and love at home. It is very heart-breaking indeed. Now as I reflect back, it's a blessing in disguise to be sent to BB because the students themselves have taught me to open my heart to accept and love the unloved, to throw out my judgemental mindset and to be patient. My hardened heart to teach right from Year 1 itself is starting to have cracks. Hmm but maybe not so much of joining the teaching force under the education ministry but more of interaction, understanding and getting to know these unique students that need help. 

It's amazing how God can move my hardened heart and perspective.

Should I teach my form5 boys Civics? or should I just play some light games with them/ask them thought-provoking questions to allow them to release pre-spm tension. Hmm. 

Teaching practical aside, I guess so far I'm coping. I'm used to sleeping and waking up early. Whenever I go into a stationary shop and I see something interesting, I have the instinct to buy for my students. They're on my mind 24/7 I tell you. Why? -.- Am I starting to care? (I think so). Am I starting to form a bond with them? (I think so too).

When I think ahead of my last day of practical, I start to feel sad and mushy already. Is this what every trainee teacher has to go through? Or they happily leave their training place and their kids. I hope I don't cry on my last day haha. The boys wouldn't know how to react. 

week 4

I noticed my recent blog posts are all about school and practical. Oh well.. that's how it's gona be for the next 6 weeks. Anyway so week 4 has passed, and I've grown to like my form 4 Eng class more. Now that I look back, I am pretty glad I got this class because although majority may think they're naughty boys, they actually listen to me most of the time and this week they were pretty responsive.

Many have this perception that the last few classes are rowdy, rude, have no mannerisms and clearly have no heart at all for love and care. but maybe there is a deeper problem; broken families and less care from parents. And the kids are the victims :( do you also know that the best classes may be arrogant and also pretty disrespectful because they think they are smarter than their teachers? there's pros and cons to both la to be fair.

For my class, i think the ice has broken and most of my students are comfortable around me and vice versa. A small part in me does a mini-jump everytime my students take the initiative to say 'Hi teacher!' when they passed by me in the walkway, or like today when I was relieving a class and they greeted me from afar. aww.

I guess I got this class to teach me to be more loving, less judgemental and more patient.

And after 4 weeks, I am growing more attached to my students. I finally see that they're gems hidden and buried so deep that it took me a month to dig it out. I'm glad I realized it now and will definitely miss them when I end my practical :(((

As I enter fourth week of teaching practice, I'm starting to get used to the lifestyle already. (but that doesn't mean I like it). But good news is, I am starting to like my form 4 english class bit by bit. I think it's more of getting used to them, and when you get used to them, you develop a sense of "like" for them and also numbness too if they make me sad or angry. 

I hope I'll like this form 4 class like how I like my F5 sivics class. I think it is possible. woot.. btw, just 30days of teaching left! YES. then i can be friends with my students instead of being a teacher

Keep going!

There's this particular class that I am starting to be very attached to. It's not my main English class but I'm teaching them Sivics Form 5. Yup, you heard that right. F5. They're such fun boys to teach, and I wish I could be their friend instead of their teacher -.- This applies to all the classes; I wish I were their friend instead of their teacher. Anyway, this F5 class is much easier to handle because i) they're the oldest in the school so hence they are more matured than the rest, ii) I can talk to them normally like how I talk to most of my youth in church.. means they're pretty capable of grasping my sarcastic jokes and comments, and iii) when I talk, they listen and they respond enthusiastically.

These students are becoming one of the few reasons that keep me going in my 6-week practical. They're fun and joyous to be around with :) They're gems hidden in the midst of rocks and stones that took me 2 weeks to realize. I hope my English class will be a gem too... but I haven't discovered it yet ... :( :( 

Last friday was BB's sport's day. And man, it was different from the past Sport's Days I've been to in high school and form 6. This one was very chilled and the boys took it easy -.-" Boys being boys mah. Soo chilled man. But I enjoyed it nonetheless, seeing all the boys marching, playing relay games, basketball etc etc.

After the sports event, a few of us trainees headed over to jaya grocer store and it was a really good time of fellowship with one another; a lot of laughter, poking fun at one another and just de-stressing before the next four busy weeks.

happy month of July... may this month be a good month for you.

Everyday, I trudge and drag my feet to go to school :( The only thing sustaining and keeping me afloat is the strength n courage frm God and encouragement frm frens and fam. sigh, who said teaching is easy?! >:( I'm ok with the boys, but it's just that... it's too institutionalized and too routine-like. I would rather be friends with the boys than be their teacher. ugh.. i hope they don't find my blog!

Anyway I have planned out nicely on how to survive the 8week practice. From today onwards, I will have 4weeks of teaching and then comes Hari raya break which is 1 week. And in this 1 week, it'll be a time for me to recharge and rejuvenate. After tht break, I'll only have 3 more weeks of teaching and VOILA, TATA forever!!! I think I will miss the teachers and especially the students (some of them only hee), but NOT the teaching system and whatever goes behind it. 

Neways.. cheers to 4 more weeks and two days before the break. Keep going, TM. 

1st week

First week of practical ended today. And phew, what a relief, but i have 8 more weeks to go. :0 First off, I am truly thankful to have such nice, helpful and warm teachers/staff who made me and my fellow trainee teachers feel welcome in BB. Albeit in a small way, their warmth and helpfulness really helped give me encouragement.

Second thing is my english class. The boys are pretty decent boys and deep down I can sense that they are good boys, but they get distracted easily and love to talk. I have to make them love English and not feel bored and disinterested whenever it's Eng period. All that I have learnt in simulated teaching class cannot be used here because of diff proficiency level and it does not apply at ALL to my class. This is a challenge I will  have to accept, and I hope tht throughout the 8 weeks, I will be able to impact their lives in small ways through the little things that I say or do. 

There is still hope. I will have to remind myself that because of all places, I'm placed in BB boys school for a reason, and particularly in that class tht I'm teaching. It's very easy to get discouraged when things don't go as planned, when the boys are restless, noisy and just don't wana listen to you. But I will always rely on God for strength and courage. And my family and friends. :-) 

But with all that being said, I don't think I want to venture into the teaching line. Ever. Ever!!! (lecturing/piano-teaching not included heh)

My teaching practical starts tomorrow :0 honestly I'm kinda nervous and excited at the same time. Am I ready? My mind is saying no but I tell myself I am. (haha) :/ It's gonna be a very good learning experience, tm! Stay positive and have fun.

late-night thoughts

"We need people in our lives with whom we can be as open as possible. To have real conversations with people may seem like such a simple, obvious suggestion, but it involves courage and risk."

-Thomas Moore

Struck a chord in me. Do you have people whom you can be as open as possible, besides your family? Or are you a friend whom people can be open to? 

#reflectiontime

ice cream; good for the soul. 

shallow post

I recently revisited Mulan and it's so amazing on so many levels. Watching it now as a young adult made me appreciate its musical scores (especially I'll Make a Man outta You. The beginning of the song is pretty inspiring), the storyline and the hidden messages where there's a difference in social status between women and men. Very interesting. Loved it :-) 

The same goes with Prince of Egypt too. Brilliant musical scores. 

Where do these people get their musical talent from?! Ah.. from the One above.. ;) 

It took me years to realize this but chatime's milktea pales in comparison with gongcha's milktea. Haha. And it took me years to find the perfect tea-based drink: Milk Tea, original at its core. No more running, searching and trying fruity/yoghurt/coffee-based drinks from both chatime and gongcha. Because the Original Milktea IS da BOMB :D Now I totally understand what a few of my friends meant when they said the original milktea is the clincher. :) I am sold, gongcha. tq. xoxo

I sound so unintelligent. :P maybe coz the hols have mushed my brain. lalala

of accidents and closure

I welcome week 14 aka the final week of lectures with open arms :) Woot.. now I just have one more research paper to finish.

Neways, I had my first car accident last sun. :/ actually, the first time was in church where i sorta nudged a church mate's car. But it doesnt count coz 1) it's a fren's car and 2) it happened in one of the safest places in pj lol. but for this one, it counts :/ ironically, it happened after a meet at a friend's house where he was telling me that accidents are inevitable; we just have to be careful. Basically to cut the long story short, I was banged from behind :( 

:( Was kinda scared because I was alone driving. When I pulled over and came down, my defences were all up; I was bracing for some form of shouting or whatever. And I thought I was panicking, but surprisingly I was calm, but a serious kind of calm. Thank God for calming me. And thankfully the person who banged me was okok la and not some gangsta. 

My car and his car were sent for repair and today, I got my precious back. Check out my car's damage before the repair:

the damage doesn't look very bad right? But if you look at it closely, it is. Bad scratches, a bit misaligned and 10% of the backlight was damaged. I was sad that day.

surprise, surprise - ironically, his car above was in worse condition compared to mine! You could imagine my shock when I saw this. How did my proton, a flimsy, light-weighted car suffered minor damages compared to this giant of a car? 

My proton proved to be tougher than it looks. *pats my proton* or maybe coz my car was banged from behind and not me banging someone. If it would have been the latter, my proton will be in critical condition. 

All in all, it was an experience that I would avoid & would never want to go through again. Thank u God for protecting me and keeping me safe!!

p/s: Have a good break. We need it.

Dear blog,

week 13 has come and go. Time, either a grey spectre or a white silhouette, flew past, waiting for no man. My third year in uni officially ends by the end of August when my exams and teaching practical turn to dust under my feet as I continue my journey in the final year of my course. It'll be a bittersweet moment for me when I approach 4th year because I'll reflect back on the three good and bad years in uni and how I've grown so much. If you say you haven't learn anything in uni, my opinion is that you've wasted away your years in an institution built to equip people with the essentials to live it out in the big world. You've taken the privilege and opportunity of being in uni for granted, my friend.

The future; the Great Unknown.  But one thing I know and am comforted of is that God will be with me to the end. 

Cheers to the last week of lectures :) 

p.s: I'm in desperate need of retail therapy! 

p.s.s: note to self: Popular slashed prices of some books, and two books worthy of mentioning are: Martin Luther's biography and The Pacific, although the price of this book remain untouched. Mm tempting.

        love,

tm

comfort food needed

Yeah. I needa de-stress with good food. Real food. with real people.

btw, yes, i've eaten all of the above and they're taken by yours truly ;) from top to bottom: Little Korea in Solaris mont kiara, a chicken rice shop in DJ and butter and beans, ss17.